martes, 30 de enero de 2018

Vuelve a Suceder

Vuelve a suceder desde el suelo es que te escribo
Vuelve a suceder que otra vez hemos caído
Vuelve a suceder que el mundo ya no gira
Vuelve a suceder que mi alma tiene pensamientos suicidas

Vuelve a suceder que mi corazón está roto,
Vuelve a suceder que somos las dos de la otra el plato roto
Vuelve a suceder que ponga coraza a mi corazón
Vuelve a suceder que lloremos ante esto que llamamos amor

Vuelve a suceder que se han parado las estaciones
Vuelve a suceder que el mundo ha perdido mis emociones
Vuelve a suceder que ya no estás a mi lado
Vuelve a suceder que a torcer no doy mi brazo

Vuelve a suceder pero esta es la última vez
Vuelve a suceder aunque era la perfección contigo ver el amanecer
Vuelve a suceder y sigo escribiendo sin parar
Vuelve a suceder que esta es mi única forma de mis lagrimas ahogar

Vuelve a suceder el fin del mundo en tus manos
Vuelve a suceder que hemos metido los pies en el charco
Vuelve a suceder que no me quieres al lado
Vuelve a suceder que mi Luna se ha eclipsado.

Vuelve a suceder que no respiro no pienso
Vuelve a suceder que del mundo normal te deje ser mi anexo
Vuelve a suceder que estoy rota en pedazos
Vuelve a suceder que lo deje todo en tus labios.

Distancia.

Que es la distancia sino millas de dolor? Que es la distancia si no estás alrededor, distancia es todo aquello que nos separa, distancia es la razón de que el mundo pierda ganas o sienta ganas, quien compara?

Distancia muda, distancia sorda, no la oyes no te habla pero tampoco reconforta, distancia en celo distancia en besos, distancia es todo lo que impide lo que quiero.

Distancia distante que convierte cada día en martes, distancia que hace que sufrir a los amantes, 
Distancia efímera, distancia utópica, y hace su entrada triunfal la distancia paradójica, que promueve caricias tópicas, extrañar en cuotas módicas.

Distancia es lo que siento, distancia es lo que padezco mientras que mis ánimos se visten con distancia y tiempo

Distancia es necesaria más no prevalece en mi zona horaria, distancia que me guía a las razones más arbitrarias. 

Distancia que corre distancia que para, distancia que en un minuto te hace caer cada vez que te paras, distancia ajena distancia absurda, distancia quema cada una de mis preguntas.

Distancia que existe, distancia que no, distancia que sólo conocemos tú y yo, que sentimos las dos, que nos hiere a montón.

Distancia ruidosa distancia callada, distancia que convierte nuestros méritos en nada, que los desaparece al alba que nos cría y nos engaña que nos baja y nos salta y de a poco nos asalta, quien lo piensa quien descansa?

Distancia que hace que mis dedos escriban sin parar sin tener una idea de cuando el dolor se detendrá, distancia nula cuando tu corazón ha de matar, al tus pupilas dilatar, distancia oh distancia a mi alma has de asesinar.

Distancia Clara distancia oscura, distancia tú eres una medicina sin cura,


Ana´s Pain


She opened her book as every night lately; took a T-shirt she impregnated with her loved one perfume last time she saw her out of the ziplock bag, took a deep breath and start reading, those were the things that made her feel next to her loved one, one tear ran through her cheek, and she didn't knew if it was the book or her depression that was making her cry, Anna was walking a tightrope, struggling with her past and encouraging herself to be strong and let things go... In every breath she took she could feel the smell of her one, Luna, they were like a perfect match; who would have thought they were going to break up? But to be honest the only two that actually thought they could make it, were them; other than that not even their friends, or families thought they would end together, it was like a recipe for a disaster, two young girls without any patience to have a LDR.

Everyone was right but they were always daydreaming about each other, but it was just that, Dreams...

Anna closed her eyes and her book, held that t-shirt tight and took the last breath of her soulmate aroma, she open her eyes and fold the t-shirt back to the ziplock; she didn't want to loose the only thing that proof Luna existed and loved her.

With all her face wet Anna went to bed, and cried all night wondering when the pain would stop, wanting to wake up in another world or maybe don't wake up never again.

She knew she made mistakes and that was the most painful part of the whole process, that she understood Luna when she said she didn't want to be with her anytime soon.

For any other person "anytime soon" would mean hope, But for Anna who spent months talking to Luna every day, she knew that it was more a way to avoid telling her a closed "NO" because Luna didn't want to hurt her and she knew that if she took the little hope Anna had she would take her life with in.

She fall asleep with her makeup on, she was not a person that use to have dreams, she was more one of those lucid dreamers, so those days she was having a bunch of uncontrollable nightmares that kept her waking up every 2 or 3 hours during the night, when it was finally time wake up she was even more tired than before, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and she thought she was like a walking corpse, her face was a mess of makeup, her eyes were swollen from crying all night and her mood wasn't the best.

She put some gym clothes on and went for a walk Around her neighborhood, she put some music in her headphones but all she played was songs that either she wanted to share with Luna or give her a little of hope to fight for her, but at least gym made her feel a tiny bit better, like life was worth to live it.

Getting to home was not better, in between daily chores she open her email just to see if Luna wrote her something but nothing was coming from her, ended up watching videos and web pages that she and Luna used to watch together, trying to avoid the tears that she felt were coming out she pretended she was watching an emotional video on the web, dry her face and kept trying to be "normal".

She had so many "friends" that realized her depression and were trying to cheer her up and was on the lookout for her, but she knew they were not her friends, they didn't know how she felt, they didn't know anything or how Anna thought about drinking a whole container full of painkillers, the only one who would understand her feelings were Luna but she wasn't part of Anna's life anymore.

Anna's life was a roller coaster those days, a constant fight between getting better and worst, a constant reminder of Leena; because she made her life revolve around her...

She went to driving lessons, but she had no concentration at all; "At some point the pain has to disappear" she repeated to her self, trying to avoid the tears during the lessons.

When she finally got home, she decided to watch a movie, a love one obviously because humans love to torture their selves, and ended up crying over Luna's shirt and fall asleep with the same nightmares again.

Her days would get better, because Anna is strong, she've been broken before, but even when she never lost a soulmate before, she knew that there was a rainbow at the very end of the storm.

Anna would keep looking for the happiness because the world keeps spinning and there's no options, just still alive.

Estábamos

Hola lectores, tenia mucho tiempo sin escribir, pero ya saben como soy, hasta que no tengo el corazon roto no encuentro inspiración, así que adivinen que? La muñeca rota ha vuelto, espero que disfruten este post.

Estábamos hechas para estar juntas, ¿quien diría que me volvería a enamorar?
Una para la otra sin media pizca de sal
Estábamos unidas por ese hilo rojo
Estábamos vacías con un millón de antojos
Estábamos por mitad, hasta que nos encontramos
Estábamos preparadas para el mundo y sus altibajos.

Estábamos dispuestas a pelear hasta el final
Aunque habíamos prometido no dejarnos enamorar
Estábamos listas para el amor y sus desplantes
Pero nunca pensamos en el peor de los desenlaces
Estábamos aquí y estábamos allá,
Un mismo amor en una fracción corporal
Estábamos enamoradas, que podría culparnos?
Estábamos agarradas de la mano y vimos al mundo derribarnos
Estábamos listas para nacer como una
Pero al final del día ya una no es ninguna,

Estábamos añorando, estábamos amando
Y no nos dimos cuenta que terminamos destrozando
Estábamos mirando el mundo alrededor 
Y soñábamos despiertas con eso que llaman amor.

Estábamos solas pero juntas en la soledad
Este golpe me ha derrumbado, soy un manojo de ansiedad,

Pero eso era todo, estábamos, fuimos, queríamos, teníamos, habíamos, todos los verbos son pasado, y heme aquí sobreviviendo de nuevo bajo la nube de lluvia espesa que me encuentro,

Vete y que no me de cuenta que has llegado muñeca.

Se te olvido pensar que esta muñeca estaría rota al partir.